What made you stop being an addict?

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

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I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

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All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

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I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Now how do you quit your addiction?

How are you spending your best time?

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

I think that being gay is wrong, but I treat gay people respectfully like any other person. Is it homophobic? Or offensive in any kind of way? Aren’t disagreement and discrimination two different things?

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

This was February 2019.

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

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I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

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But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

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A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

So I'm still hanging on this lie.

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Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

I did it in my administrator's office.

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

And I can also talk to them now.

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

Just keep trying

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Read that again ☝️

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.